Personality change...
I hate myself.
I hate my life (not quite)
I hate my surroundings (pretty much but not all)
Conclusion: duuuuhhh~ (blur blur blur)... ok so i don't know what is the conclusion... nevermind though.
Actually, let me tell you the whole thing from the very beginning. I'm a girl (of course, duh!) and i'm popular for my 'cheerful sensibility' (hah!! ^_^) well i'm not famous in school, yeah, i am absolutely NOT but people know me because i am always loud (to the one that i know for quite sometimes) and also, i'm always set to talk with anyone around me. Really. In a word, i'm just: friendly. (i guess~ huhu) but what really freaks me out is that, usually, no- not usually, hurm... always.. yeah! Always seems to be the right word to use here. ok now: because of me being cheerful and never get tired of smiling even if i get a negative comments on certain people and bla bla bla... people ALWAYS mistaken the fact that I HAVE FEELINGS TOO!!
true! I HAVE FEELINGS!!!
When i smile, that doesn't mean that i am not feeling anything inside!!
To tell you the truth, i'm SICK of how people around me treat me. Like for some particular moment when i'm being serious but i'm smiling, well, i really meant to be serious actually. I hope this 'people around me' understand. PLEASE understand!
i know i'm a slow learner, i'm not very good in these academics stuff, and always get lower marks for any exams in school if compared to other people not just in my class, school and the whole universe but yeah, that's the real fact. So eventhough that i always smile, please don't get me wrong when i actually meant to be serious. i smile, yeah, so i smile... but like i said, not always, the smile that is spread on my face will have the meaning that i'm always happy-go-lucky...
In addition, i often realized that whenever people see that i'm being happy, they can easily tease me or play jokes on me or say something to me as a prank. i'm sorry to say this but i think those kind of people, they really need somebody to treat them THAT way so that they'll feel how i felt. i just don't wanna be 'bad-mood' for the rest of my day, or even worse, my life!! -cuz i am not a person who can stay with a sad-angry face, for long. i MUST smile in a day and LAUGH is very essential to me as well. The reason i tell you this is because, when i'm in a bad mood or when i'm feeling down, NO BODY i repeat: NO BODY will ever dare to come near me-for a loooong time. Understand the situation now?
i'm trying SO hard to avoid myself from being bad mood bcuz i afraid that this bad mood of mine might gonna ruin the friendships between me and any person in this world. So when you make me happy, you'll feel happy, and WE will feel happy!! ^_^
Another thing that people really don't know about me is that i am EXTREMELY a sensitive type of human being. Maybe you might not see it on my facial expression but if we can switch place and you try to be me for, say.. a day, you will know how sensitive i am. -_- so be careful people...~
And i've been thinking, is this the right time for me to change my personality from being a cheerful preppy girl to a serious, matured young lady? i'm 17... let's think of it together~....hurm.....
I hate my life (not quite)
I hate my surroundings (pretty much but not all)
Conclusion: duuuuhhh~ (blur blur blur)... ok so i don't know what is the conclusion... nevermind though.
Actually, let me tell you the whole thing from the very beginning. I'm a girl (of course, duh!) and i'm popular for my 'cheerful sensibility' (hah!! ^_^) well i'm not famous in school, yeah, i am absolutely NOT but people know me because i am always loud (to the one that i know for quite sometimes) and also, i'm always set to talk with anyone around me. Really. In a word, i'm just: friendly. (i guess~ huhu) but what really freaks me out is that, usually, no- not usually, hurm... always.. yeah! Always seems to be the right word to use here. ok now: because of me being cheerful and never get tired of smiling even if i get a negative comments on certain people and bla bla bla... people ALWAYS mistaken the fact that I HAVE FEELINGS TOO!!
true! I HAVE FEELINGS!!!
When i smile, that doesn't mean that i am not feeling anything inside!!
To tell you the truth, i'm SICK of how people around me treat me. Like for some particular moment when i'm being serious but i'm smiling, well, i really meant to be serious actually. I hope this 'people around me' understand. PLEASE understand!
i know i'm a slow learner, i'm not very good in these academics stuff, and always get lower marks for any exams in school if compared to other people not just in my class, school and the whole universe but yeah, that's the real fact. So eventhough that i always smile, please don't get me wrong when i actually meant to be serious. i smile, yeah, so i smile... but like i said, not always, the smile that is spread on my face will have the meaning that i'm always happy-go-lucky...
In addition, i often realized that whenever people see that i'm being happy, they can easily tease me or play jokes on me or say something to me as a prank. i'm sorry to say this but i think those kind of people, they really need somebody to treat them THAT way so that they'll feel how i felt. i just don't wanna be 'bad-mood' for the rest of my day, or even worse, my life!! -cuz i am not a person who can stay with a sad-angry face, for long. i MUST smile in a day and LAUGH is very essential to me as well. The reason i tell you this is because, when i'm in a bad mood or when i'm feeling down, NO BODY i repeat: NO BODY will ever dare to come near me-for a loooong time. Understand the situation now?
i'm trying SO hard to avoid myself from being bad mood bcuz i afraid that this bad mood of mine might gonna ruin the friendships between me and any person in this world. So when you make me happy, you'll feel happy, and WE will feel happy!! ^_^
Another thing that people really don't know about me is that i am EXTREMELY a sensitive type of human being. Maybe you might not see it on my facial expression but if we can switch place and you try to be me for, say.. a day, you will know how sensitive i am. -_- so be careful people...~
And i've been thinking, is this the right time for me to change my personality from being a cheerful preppy girl to a serious, matured young lady? i'm 17... let's think of it together~....hurm.....
Comments