Gimme back my writing skill

I don't like to write. I mean I used to LOVE writing. I usually got like the highest score in English writing during high school just because I wrote fictions. But now that skill has disappeared. Writing is a skill. You need to develop that skill while you still can and maintain it or maybe make even better progression and improvement. I, on the other hand, stopped immediately just because I found some other fun things to do.

You know, like how people say, (or rather they 'assume') that you'll do less aggressive activities when you're older. What  I interpreted from this general 'saying' was, people tend to get less vigorous when their age reach that 'maturity' level. I.... disagreed.

When  I was younger, I considered myself as an adventurous dreamer. But I don't just dream, I make it happen.

My long-time ultimate dream was to become a cheerleader! Guess what? I did! I gathered a team of around 13 close girlfriends of mine and we practiced hard to enter the national level cheerleading competition (although we did not get much of supports from the school, we just went with it anyway...cuz we're cool liddat...)

This is just a long-story-short version of my aggressiveness during those youthful days. 

So I never thought about what my life would be when I turn into a 20-something young lady. Never. Back in my teen years, my vision stopped imagining things only until I turn 17. I never knew what life after high school would be like. How can I adapt? with no more wake-up-in-the-morning-feeling-like-p-diddy-and-go-to-school routine, no more classes until 2pm, no more having to get ready for extra tuition classes in the evening, none of those anymore! What will it be like? how? WHATTT!!!

And then... I turned 18.

and 19 and 20 annnd 21. (blessed, Alhamdulillah)

and I started to feel even more AGGRESSIVE than before. Yeah, that's right. I don't feel OLD! I don't feel weak at all. so that general assumption...? maybe work the other way around on me.

Point is, I don't have the time to write fictions anymore. I have it all in my head yes, but I couldn't just get the story on papers. I don't hold pens and pencils anymore these days, and I know it is bad!

Before this, I thought writings are only for those less aggressive people. And by less aggressive I mean, the more laid-back, indoor, semi-introvert kind of people.

I'm a complete opposite. Lol.

When I may look a bit laid-back, in my mind, the chaos never stops.

When I am indoor and choose to stay at home, I do HIIT workout, or practice playing the keyboard, strumming my guitar, create new songs, dancing etc...

I never sit still...

So, how am I to write?

I love writing. I believe it has some kind of a magical mystical power that works in parallel with your mind. Writing gives you the relaxing aura, the feeling that you can be anywhere you want to be, say anything you want to say or do anything you want to do. It is a game. A mind game. Everything about imagination and writing it is all in your mind. 

But my mind is packed with my reality workload of achieving my REALITY dreams, so again, how am I able to write in a complete tranquility? 

Some of the points I made above aren't completely relevant to my objective of writing this blog post.

I need to find my own time and start writing again.

Cuz I love to write.

and writing lyrics does not count.

(Cuz I write lyrics all the time lol)

I am only focusing on paragraphed-long-fiction-story-writing here.